


Want

by crackinthecup



Series: Ends and Beginnings [23]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Violence, Injury, M/M, POV First Person, Poetry, Relationship Study, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackinthecup/pseuds/crackinthecup
Summary: Bloodied knuckles,Black in the moonlight;A cigarette that tastes sour on the tip of my tongue;My lip is bleeding and it’s your fault;This is all because of you.A take on Mairon and Melkor in a modern setting, in poetry form.
Relationships: Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Series: Ends and Beginnings [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112774
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Want

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a weird one—I tend to write a lot of poetry, but very rarely anything fandom-related. This one just sort of happened one night and I thought I might as well post it. Heads-up that it’s in first person from Mairon’s POV, and hope you enjoy!

Bloodied knuckles,

Black in the moonlight;

A cigarette that tastes sour on the tip of my tongue;

My lip is bleeding and it’s your fault;

This is all because of you.

_ Fight me, _ I snarled at you.

_ Do your worst. _

That was before you punched me in the face.

You know just how to make it hurt, darling,

How to make me scream,

How to make me forget that I’m anything more than this

Soft body.

You’re my god, you know that?

You’re my entire religion,

The only thing I can believe in,

The only thing I’d gut myself for.

You’d like that, wouldn’t you, me gutting myself:

You’d shove your hand right through the wound

Just to say you’d touched every last part of me

And I’d let you.

The cigarette smoke curls around my head,

Making my eyes sting;

You’re staring at me like you want to devour me alive,

Flesh from bone then bone from bone

Till the screaming stops.

It’s what I love about you:

You’re black or white, darling,

You’re full throttle, zero to sixty faster than I can blink;

You make me forget I hate myself,

Make me  _ want _ not to hate myself

(Though hush, you never heard that from me);

You’re beautiful like a tornado is beautiful,

And you know, I’ve always wanted to touch tornadoes,

Catch them between my hands,

Feel them pummel my bones till they crack

Then sweep me up into the aether,

Into the vast emptiness of the skies.

Fuck it, darling, come here and kiss me,

My lip’s not that bad;

Look, I’ll put my cigarette out

And we can go find someone,

Some poor lost fucker

To hurt with our hands

And tear apart with our teeth.

It’s what you want, isn’t it?

Your very own absolution,

Violence that can hold up a mirror

As if to say here, your hand,

Here, your mouth,

Here, power,

Here, a crown;

Here: eternal.

Your smile is so pretty, darling, 

Like something out of a book, 

One of those damn novels about love and war,

Or was it war and love?

It doesn’t matter, you’re right, darling,

Of course you are.

All that matters is that I need you, 

Just like the whole world needs you:

To know where I begin, where I end,

To know which way to keep spinning;

It’s here, written in the spaces between my ribs,

Under my tongue, on the inside of my skull;

All the places you’ve hurt, 

Places where no one would ever 

Think to check for an injury.

It’s here, and I won’t deny it, 

I don’t  _ want _ to deny it,

Not anymore;

But I’ll be damned, darling, 

I’ll be damned if you don’t need me too.


End file.
